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TShirtGifter presents: Zombie Defense Guide

Zombie Defense Guide

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About this T-Shirt

Unconventional Zombie Defense Guide – Domestic Defense Edition

Here is a list of common items available in most domestic households that can be used in Zombie defense, as opposed to the usual shotguns, chainsaws and baseball bats… not everyone can be Rambo!

Attack points refer to items ability to injure a zombie in any way possible.

Defense points refer to the items ability to obstruct, distract, immobilize or render the zombie harmless.

Use this information wisely.

Coming soon! – Urban Defense Edition

Text:
*~GOLDFISH BOWL (goldfish removal optional):
May be used to make floors slippery so zombies
injure themselves in falls, or to obstruct
their biting capability if placed over head.

TELEVISION SET (the older the better):
Effective head crushing weapon, older TV sets are
heavier/sturdier so are more effective, only
recommended for capable heavy lifters.

MINCED MEAT (preferably beef):
Temporary distraction due to its similarity to
human brains, and also can cause moderate damage
if thrown while frozen accurately enough.

GARDEN HOSE:
Good immobilizer if used correctly, leave attached
to tap, then attach to zombies ankle or around
neck, or you can just whip them with it.

LAPTOP COMPUTER (with internet access):
Depending on the zombies brain deterioration, may
be used to distract zombies with some hardcore
zombie pornography, also useful to bludgeon head.

MICROWAVE OVEN:
Only useful against stubborn zombie body parts that
refuse to die, put offending zombie head/hand etc
in oven on high for 10 minutes, problem solved.

VICE GRIPS/PLIERS:
Effective but risky approach at defense against
bites, you must immobilize a zombie and extract
all front teeth, instant harmless gummy zombie.

LAWNMOWER (push mower + belt/rope):
The ultimate zombie killer, just remove push bar,
strap to your chest, pull the rip cord, and enjoy
sweet zombie horde dismemberment.~*

And also available as an emergency poster

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